


Not Resigned

by osmalic



Category: Cardcaptor Sakura
Genre: Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-01-15
Updated: 2006-01-15
Packaged: 2017-10-21 04:51:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/221120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/osmalic/pseuds/osmalic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yue grooms Keroberos, finds a dead fly in his fur. They talk about Touya, Yukito, Sakura, and--of course--Clow.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Resigned

**Author's Note:**

  * For [zhyn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/zhyn/gifts).



> I should first probably explain something about the OC-ness of Yue and how he and Keroberos interact, but I thought maybe, just _maybe_ , they may interact this way without Sakura.

Yue's hands were not Master Clow's hands and neither were they Sakura's, but they were hands with fingers, and Yue had always known how to groom. Master Clow had taught him well.

Sitting quite companionably on the roof of Tsukimine Shrine, Keroberos fought hard not to purr as Yue's fingers combed through his neck absent-mindedly. He knew the Moon Guardian was trying to distract him and it was almost working. But the hands that ran through his fur and straightening his armor were not Clow's and it made him more resolved.

"You _must_ tell Sakura," Keroberos urged. "She deserves to know."

"You have a dead fly in your fur," Yue intoned, frowning as he picked dead leaves and twigs from the large cat's fur, souvenirs from their earlier flight race in the moonlight. "Hold still!"

"Yue—"

"Hush." Yue's frown had turned into a scowl. These were the faces he would not show Sakura, and it made Keroberos feel guilty when he enjoyed it directed towards him. "You know as well as I that she's been trying so hard to make the Cards her own. Hold _still!"_

Hiding his wince when Yue jerked at something that was stuck behind his left year, Keroberos pointed out, "She's growing stronger every day."

"It's still not enough," his friend replied, "and she hasn't learned control. Let's not argue. You have gum in your fur."

"How'd that **_ouch!_** —She might be able to give you what you need. Shouldn't you be conserving your powers right now?"

"Clow should have known," Yue said fiercely with another vicious yank, "and I would rather disappear—"

"I'd rather you don't," Keroberos interrupted sharply. He wanted to say, _"I love her too and I don't want her to feel responsible but I can't let you go again. I won't!"_ But he swallowed these words and hoped that Yue would think that the crack in his voice was because of his entangled fur.

But it seemed Yue knew him well and it was with some surprising fondness that he said, "I know." There was a pause before he continued faintly, "When the time comes, you know who to choose."

"Why are you making it difficult?!" Keroberos snapped, his voice coming out in a growl. "I can't choose between you and Sakura!"

"You can and you will," Yue said firmly. His hands went to grasp Keroberos' neck pads to turn his head and let their eyes meet. "You know how it should go."

The lump in Keroberos' throat threatened to tighten. Time was running out fast for Yue; soon, he would wane and Sakura would be left with only one guardian, yet Keroberos and Yue both knew to demand the replacement for Yue's diminishing powers from their mistress while she was struggling to turn the Clow Cards into her own would only kill her.

"You and Master Clow can be too cruel," Keroberos told him quietly.

Yue's fingers on his fur tightened their hold. "There is no comparison to his cruelty," he said harshly.

"I loved him too. You aren't the only one he left behind."

"I did my duty," Yue reminded him harshly, releasing his hold on Keroberos' fur and turning away. "I did what he asked of me."

"He also asked you to _live!"_

"I am alive!"

"You're _dying!"_ Keroberos' tail was twitching madly and he felt his whole fur straighten in his fury and helplessness. "Don't deny it! Don't think you're just disappearing! You have a duty to your mistress and you have to stay alive—"

"I have done what Clow asked of me and more!" Yue almost shouted. "I have tested Sakura and approved of her! I protect her and help her! What more can you ask of me?"

"To stay! There are other ways to get magic—"

"Magic is not easy to find, Kero!"

"There seem to be so many of them in Tomoeda." Casting his eyes to the far distance, Keroberos went on, "There's Kinomoto Touya. He's overflowing with power."

"No." There was an unusual harshness in Yue's voice. "I won't let him lose that."

"Do you think Kinomoto Touya will stand aside and quietly let you die?" Keroberos asked incredulously.

"I am not his friend."

"No," Keroberos agreed, "but you're also Tsukishiro Yukito, a person he loves."

"I _won't,"_ said Yue through gritted teeth, "take his powers from him. I will not let him offer."

There was something strange about the way Yue would not meet his eyes, even more so with the uncharacteristic roughness severity in the tone of his voice especially when they spoke of Tsukishiro Yukito and Kinomoto Touya. Fighting the hysterical sense of loss that was threatening to overcome him, Keroberos butted his head at Yue's shoulder, repeating the gesture until Yue let one arm wrap around his neck, drawing him closer until Keroberos' forehead rested on Yue's cheek.

"I would give up my powers for you if I could," the Sun Guardian rumbled. "I would do it in an instant."

"I know, my friend," Yue replied quietly, "and I love you for it. Thank you." His fingers ran through the great cat's fur and wings, lovingly lingering in many scars and bumps. "You're clean."

"The gum still hurts."

"Baby." And bravely, the Moon Guardian gave him a tiny smile.

When they parted soon after, Keroberos—now in his conveniently small form—flitted back to the Kinomoto household and squeezed himself through the crack in the window of Sakura's room which he had left slightly open before he left. Lit by some strands from the moon, his mistress lay peacefully on the bed, exhausted from her earlier task of changing cards and completely unaware of her guardians' meeting. It made Keroberos feel guilty and all the more worried.

He turned to the desk where the Clow Book lay and where the recently-turned Sakura Cards also kept themselves alongside the original Clow Cards. The moonlight was weak in the area, not quite reaching some corners and casting blue and black shadows on the wall. In the darkness, the book was both silent and deaf, as if waiting for someone to use their magic on them. Touching the cover with his paws, Keroberos let himself remember his long sleep and shuddered.

He had been so lonely for so many years and he did not wish to lose the companionship he had finally found, yet Yue was right. If he had to choose, he knew who it would be, but he also knew he would hesitate.

 _"Love,"_ Master Clow had once told them, _"is, to sound cliché, the most mysterious power of all."_ Yet Keroberos' love for his master had not prevented his master's death, and it seemed that Keroberos' love for both Sakura and Yue might force him to choose between them.

 _I won't let them both be harmed,_ he thought forcefully. _I won't choose, I can still hope. I would die for them._ And in near despair, he bowed over the Clow Book in desperation. _Oh, Master Clow, what have you done?_


End file.
